Those who Have gone mad A Snape one shot
by ShuuHigurashi
Summary: In the fourth year, Severus is asked to move the mirror off the grounds to make room...what will he see, if he ignores his better judgement and looks into the mirror. Happiness...or despair?


Shuunote:HEAR ME OUT: this is NOT a ginny/snape...ew. it just seems that way at first. XD inspired by the song smother me by the used

"Miss Weasley...Miss Weasley hand me that note book!" Severus the proffessor of potions class called, bringing Ginny Weasley back to her senses. She looked up at him, her face got red and her bangs fell over her eyes. Severus took the notebook from her desk and looked down at the embarassed adolecent. Why, why was her hair so long that it had to cover her eyes? Her eyes were the only thing that kept Severus at earth, the only difference between _their_ appearences. "...And brush your hair out of your face..." Severus said finally realizing how long he had been staring at the young girl. "yes sir...I'm going to grow them out." confessed the third year well knowing that Severus couldn't careless, what she did with her hair, as long as her eyes were in focal point.

Severus looked down at the black notebook clutched in his hands. Multiple times on the lined pages it read phrases such as "I love Harry Potter." "Future Mrs. Potter." and hearts and stars. Cursive writing filled what should've been the ingrediants for a potion that could cure knife created wounds. Of course this was all too similar...all to familiar. Oh how he despised enough the romantic exchanges of his students, but now this? This was not his responsibility. He tossed the note book back onto the desk and gave Ginny a look that said, 'don't let me catch you like this again.' She looked down anticipating the end of class.

By the end of this, students came pouring out of classrooms, ready for the arrival of the students, coming from Beuxbatons and Durmstrang. The Triwizard Tournament was finally going back into commission and the whole school had been set ablaze by the events. Oh what a pointless feat this was to Severus, doing all things death defying for a stupid glowing cup?

Just before Severus went to see all the commotion take place, for he had no other tasks at hand...Dumbledore had called for him. "Severus...Severus." Said the headmaster, short of breath. "Yes Headmaster?" asked Severus very montoned. "Severus, we're going to have less room here now, even the room of requirment will have more likeliness of being discovered...I need you to move the mirror of Erised off of the grounds." Dumbledore finally sighed. "Oh...that thing...okay." Severus answered. This seemed like a simple task. As Severus walked away from the flocks of excited students, hearing their voices die away he reminded himself of some very usefull advice...don't look into the mirror.

He waltzed down to the dungeons past the dog that Hagrid had endearingly named Fluffy and there he saw it. He could barely see his watery reflection from across the dungeon. His charcoal eyes quickly stared down at the floor. All he needed to stare at was his feet right? I mean as long as he could see that his feet were near the stand of the mirror, he should be fine. But as he approached it, his eyes met the mirror's glass.

To his amazement when he looked in, he first noticed, he looked younger. His eyes looked happier, and full of sleep. His face was smoother and his hair seemed slightly softer. This wasn't enough to make him wish to smile though. It was only when he saw a figure distant in the mirror. It was walking towards his reflection! He turned around and behind him stood no one. It was just him. So the figure wasn't coming from his surroundings...So who could he be desiring to see. Inwardly, Severus already knew but swallowed praying that it wasn't so.

His eyes met the glass again and again he saw himself only the figure that had been walking to him was now right beside him. The figure had lovely curves on her frame, and long red hair, a clear pale face with luminous green eyes staring straight at him, the real him. Severus was near to tears, he could hear a slight gasp elude him and his eyes stung. "Lily...It's impossible." he said shaking his head. But as he gazed into the glass again, he did not make any difference. It had seeme that his reflections hair was abit messier, but Lily stood beside his reflection still, with a calm smile.

She placed her arms around Severus' reflection. Severus' eyes widened in shock as this happened, for he half expected to feel Lily's soft warm arms embrace him for the first time in years. It hit his brain in hard impact that he could not feel her, no matter how he desired that. His reflection could show all the reaction from it he would've expected, but he would never know how it felt again. "Lily, I can't believe...how much you've grown up." He said. it was true. She was only about an inch or two shorter than him, but this was how it had always been. Her lips seemed pinker and her hair looked so much softer and longer too. Her expression held a softness he only saw on her in the days that she would talk about James, the discussions that made her heart soar and sing.

Severus looked back at the reflection in what felt like hours. He was looking with almost envying eyes on himself. He longed to remember that embrace, to_ feel_ that embrace. He wanted to once again feel her soft arms holding him too tightly..but in a most satisfying way. He smiled his eyes feeling wet but not yet a tear shed from him.

He wished that this reflection of his desires could speak with him. What sort of reflection of one's desires held an image that cannot speak? For it was truely his one greatest wish to speak with Lily again. However she was as good as mute, she could not communicate with him...it was almost like a tragic love story.

"Lily, nod...please just nod if you missed me." Severus sighed. Lily nodded and smiled softly at him as he stared at his greatest wish. However this was not convincing enough even for a man that appeared to be going mad over this beautiful dream he could not reach. He knew that she only nodded because this is what he did so desire.

"Everything was so wonderful for Lily. It took you forever to see that you loved James Potter, I had every chance to grasp you. You could be mine right now!" he said to her as he suddenly realized it. "It took you so long to fall for that trophy! You could be alive! I could've been with you!! Why was I so stupid Lily? WHY was I so stupid for you!" he yelled as he toppled to the floor in one heap sitting with a few streams pouring from his eyes.

His reflection was also there and Lily was crouched next to him. "I COULD'VE..." he began. He was about to say 'saved you, had you' but he paused, for he looked into the mirror and saw Lily crying as she looked at him. This wasn't what he wanted.

He despised seeing Lily cry, it was always his moments of greatest despair. "I'm sorry...I thought you wouldn't of missed me...but could I be guilty of the same thing? Look at the life I've built without you...but not a day has gone by...that I havent..." he questioned himself. It had been a few hours now.

"That's enough Severus." Dumbledore's voice could be heard across the dungeon. Severus looked into his direction tears in his eyes. "I thought you would know not to look in the mirror." Dumbledore said as he walked across the dungeon to the heap of Severus. Severus wrapped his arms around Dumbledore shaking with sorrow and distraught.

"You were Lily's don't friend, don't forget it...as she would never forget you. A true friend." Dumbledore siad. "You may not know it, but you have the ability to be a great friend a true friend...and succeded it with Lily and I...you just chose not to socialize much...she had to reach out to you...but in just awhile you can mean so much to her..so much that she would die with you in her thoughts." He said. "She died with Harry in mind." Severus pointed out. "Yes...she wanted you to protect him. Remember she was always telling you to look after him when he got to school?" Dumbledore asked. "She was thinking about how she was counting on you...that's how I think you should veiw it...for the sake of living bearably." Dumbledore said. Severus let go of the headmaster. "Now help me move this mirror." Dumbledore coughed.


End file.
